In a black out
I reach for my son
soldier, in my war
on drugs.
I fumble
with the tiny keypad
on my phone.
I try
to type a note
to say something;
I don’t remember?
Grasping for him
has become
the only
predictable thing
I do.
Like calling an old lover
after too much wine
lonely; I hunger
for someone
who knows me
someone to keep me
from reaching
the point I reach
while I talk merrily
sipping poison
that erases memories.
Heart-wrenching and well written. But wine isn’t the answer. Overeating works best. Being fat allows you to hate yourself on so many more levels.
Wow. I know a bit about that CC. I have one very dear friend who fights food. Very complicated. I mean you have to eat to live. Thanks for sharing so honestly friend.
Very intense and very good…
Society has programmed us to find just the right wrong things in times of pain
Namaste
Yup. But, I have learned many deep and important things about myself, society, spirit, and love, because I fell in. So to speak.
Yup, society is very good at paying forward pain. But we don’t have to go along with the program. How about a big VaFanGu to society? That’s the way I roll.
Ha! Love that! VaFanGu huh. Perfect.
Hey, can I ask you what you mean and how you see, paying pain forward? I got to thinking bout it and got curious.
Very cleverly done – trying to reach for someone dear when something else is calling close…
Thank you Holly
Having people who really (really, really) know us is so important. I also sometimes feel the need to look out there to see what’s inside. This was powerful and true.
Yes. It sure is. And looking out there, for what’s inside. Yes, me too. Thank you for commenting.